you keep me without chains

BACK ONLINE BABY!

2008-04-29T16:07:25Z

http://nightkicks.voodoo-rocket.net

Layout features the love of my life. HAHA.
THANKS DREW! :3

h/hr MV: someday

2008-04-23T15:42:03Z

I just thought I should share these w/ my fellow Harry/Hermione shippers. :D

View at YouTube.
Song: Someday by Nina
Edited by: Nikka
Software: Sony Vegas 8
Summary: Someday, Hermione will find someone else to love her just as she's loved Harry.

fanmix - h/hr - we cannot be

2008-03-25T08:29:09Z

fanmix 05. harry/hermione.

we cannot be

art:

manip by girlnamediandra.

tracklist:
DREAMS by acideyeliner
Why when I meet her, do you visit me that night
and you say you've changed your mind
I just let you go, lifted all I know
to forget about our past, did you cry?

SOMEDAY by nina
Someday you're gonna realize
One day you'll see through my eyes
But then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I care

SO CLOSE by jon mclaughlin
How could I face the faceless days if I should lose you now?
We’re so close to reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close... and still so far

THE LOVE THAT YOU LEFT TO DIE by metro station
I've never met a girl as beautiful as you.
It may be a --- that I get over you soon.
I think if he loved you,
He'd never make you cry,
then we both talked, and we said goodbye.
Goodbye.

AUGUST 28TH 3:30AM by automatic loveletter
You can take your love away, but don't you ever leave me alone
Burn the ghost we've carried on
And come on, touch me, show me you're imperfect too
These broken lights, they shine on us tonight

zip (art+tracks)

--

I've missed making these kind of things. :) Tell me what you think!

for haltlos and jeanniefillion public

2008-01-09T17:25:10Z

I'm terrible, I know. But I've finally found the lost stories I made two years ago for haltlos and Jeannie. :)

For haltlos: Under the Moon, We Sat -- RON/LUNA. Post War, Hermione is missing. Harry is dead.

Under the Moon, We Sat

By Nikka M

-

A Ron/Luna fanfic

-

“I wonder where Hermione is. For a very intelligent person like her, she shouldn’t be running away from reality.”

“She and Harry had gotten really close during the war. I guess the pain of losing him was too much to bear.”

She gazed at him with a wistful expression. “Do you not miss her, Ronald?” Her eyes were directed at him and he sighed. His heart gave a slow thump as he carefully organized his words.

The moon above them seemed to glow brighter… as if urging him to spill his feelings to his friend. (Was she a friend? he asked himself. Yes, she was. The only one left.)

“I miss her, of course. I loved her since second year… but I guess she loved someone else.”

“Oh, she loved you too, you know. She just didn’t know how to say it.”

He looked over at his companion and raised his eyebrow. “How would you know? She left me because Harry died.”

“I suppose, I just know that she loved you. But she loved Harry as well, I think… and I guess, when he –” she struggled with the word, “when Harry left, it was the final straw for her to realize that she truly loved him more than…”

Her pale hair fell past her shoulders as she stopped talking and ducked her head.

“I’m sorry, Ronald.” She said in such a soft voice that he almost didn’t hear it.

He nodded, his chest tightening at the thought of what she just said. He breathed in and looked up at the moon.

“It’s alright. I’ve always felt that she cared more for him anyway.” He laughed slightly. “Now that I think about it… maybe it was destined that Harry would have her love in the end… I mean, he didn’t know what love felt like until he came to Hogwarts… and I guess… it was fair…”

He trailed off.

“Sorry. I’m beginning to sound like a ninny.”

He cleared his throat.

“But, I can’t help but still feel resentment towards Harry. True, he is my best mate… but still – I want to know what it feels like to be wanted… except he got the girl in the end. And I… I’m left with no one.”

“That’s not entirely true. You still have your parents, four brothers and your sister.”

“That’s not the same. They’re family.”

“Your friends are still alive… like Neville, Dean…”

“Like I said: That’s not the same.”

“Well…” she placed her hand on his. “I’m here.”

He looked at her hand on his, heat rushing into his face. That’s odd, he thought. He looked at her soft face. There was an angelic smile on her face as her eyes stared into his…

Again, a rush of heat surged through him.

“I know you still find me strange and queer. But still, no matter what, I’d never leave you or any of our friends. Now that dad’s gone…”—she squeezed his hand—“I want to keep you… and everyone around.”

She tilted her head, that same smile on her lips. “After all… you’re all I have left.”

“I am?” he asked, stupidly.

“Yes.”

Finally, he felt the corners of his mouth tug into a smile. His heart was pounding and he felt lighter. “Does everyone really feel lightheaded when they’re wanted?”

“Yes. At least, I think so. It’s how I felt when we were in the DA.”

He nodded. “It’s a nice feeling.”

Slowly, he placed his arm around her shoulders.

“You know what, Luna… I want to keep you around too.”

She simply smiled that wistful smile and laid her head on his shoulder and once again looked at the moon hanging above them.

--

Note: I’m useless with fluff. But still, I love this pairing. :)

********

For Jeannie: Age -- HARRY/HERMIONE. Sunday morning/afternoon at the Potters.

Age

By Nikka M

-

A Harry/Hermione fanfic

-

“Do you want some milk in your coffee?”

“No, I want it strong.”

“Ah, yes, strong coffee equals the strong woman that you are. Forgot about that.”

Smirk. “After twenty years of friendship, a war, six years of marriage and a bouncing green-eyed baby boy – you forget that I like my coffee strong?” She throws him a teasing smile. “You are quite old, dear.”

“You’re older, darling.”

“For only a few months, Mr. Potter. And don’t go starting on my age again.”

He grins and sits across her. “Too late. Because now that I’ve noticed… you have wrinkles on your forhead now. They’re very faint… but they’re there.”

“Really now, you should stop before my temper flares up.”

“And look, your hands look quite dry. Suppose Professor Trelawney was right, they’re as dry as the books you read so often. I wonder why that is…”

“Harry. I compel you to stop for a moment before I do something drastic.”

“I saw Ginny the other day with Draco and their daughter, Paulina… and she looked almost exactly like she did on her wedding day. I suppose redheads really do age better than brunettes.”

Glare. “Harry…”

“I’m sorry, Hermione. But really, with everything that I’ve noticed just now – it stuns me to see you look so…”

“Say another word and I will kill you.” “Beautiful.”

He grins once again as she glares at his teasing. She slips next to him and places a kiss on his lips.

“Damn you, Harry James Potter.”

“I love you too, Hermione.”

To those I haven't given their requested fics yet... I'm still working on them. I have terrible writer's block. *sigh*

Harry Potter - Ron/Luna - You're Something to Dream About

2007-12-15T10:29:54Z

Medium: Books
Fandom: Harry Potter
Subject: Ron Weasley/Luna Lovegood
Title: You're Something to Dream About
Warnings: No spoilers.
Notes: I love RON/LUNA. :D It's up there next to HARRY/HERMIONE and LILY/JAMES.

TEMPORARY INSANITY - ALEXZ JOHNSON
AQUALUNG - STRANGE AND BEAUTIFUL (I'LL PUT A SPELL ON YOU)
BACKSTREET BOYS - WHAT MAKES YOU DIFFERENT
EISLEY - PLENTY OF PAPER
EVAN AND JARON - COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT
HELLOGOODBYE - BABY, IT'S FACT
MEST - MISSING MY BABY TONIGHT

FULL ZIP (mp3 + art) -- will be uploaded/edited when i get around to it

NOTE: ZIP LINK WAS DOWN SO I PULLED IT OUT FOR THE MEAN TIME. :( I'll get back to uploading everything after my exams.

STOP THE INTERVIEW!

2007-11-19T14:34:47Z

It’s sad how some people talk to me like they feel sorry for me. It’s like I’m such a pathetic person to look down upon than no one seems to mind telling stupid things that only really stupid people who think they know shit about could say.

--

To answer some of your (their, whatever) questions:

… on SCHOOL/STUFF:

Yes, I’m stressed so please don’t IM me when my YM says “I’m Busy.”

No, I will not edit pictures for your vanity. So quit asking.

No, I don’t edit videos for free. You want my help. Then pay me.

… on my PERSONAL LIFE:

No. We are not together. How many times do I have to repeat this little bit? He and I are not dating. Never gonna happen. We’re really good friends. The best! So please, stop asking me such mundane things. It’s getting so old and you’ll never get any gossip about us anyway.

Yes, he and I are broken up. We’ve been broken up for three years now. Stop asking me about him! You’ll never get to meet him. He doesn’t live in the country anymore.

No, I haven’t spoken to him. He and I hasn't spoken since last week. Yes, I miss him but I’m alright. I’m not bawling my eyes out just because of that. I’m not stupid.

(NOTE: He = MJP, He = Ex, He = AGL. Let’s see if you can decode this.)

--

Please. For the love of everything right and sane in this world:

STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT THE ANSWER WILL BE. STOP ASKING FOR MY HELP WHEN I SAY I’M BUSY.

DON’T ASK ME PROBING QUESTIONS ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE! IF I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU ANYTHING ABOUT IT, IT ONLY MEANS I DON’T TRUST YOU.

i'm alive. i swear.

2007-09-10T04:07:32Z

did anyone cut me? i'm sorry for being a lousy friend. :( i just haven't got time to comment. but i do read posts. miss you all.

delicatinelity @ 2007-08-12T18:16:00

2007-08-12T10:08:23Z

I will be loyal to my ship. No matter what happens. Forever.

There are so many HP fanmixes! (The last theme at fanmix was amazing... so many entries.) So I decided to make one of my own... using my favorite pairing, Harry/Hermione. Yes, yes, I know it will never be canon and quite frankly, that's great! :D This mix contains songs signifying how I feel Harry/Hermione is after DH... slightly angsty, but I think you can all work with that?

harry/hermione - this is where it ends

ZIP: ALL MUSIC (MP3) + ART

sunday's best - augustana
when I'm coming over Sunday
and I think about you all the time,
I wonder what you're doin
I wonder why you never cry,
when Boston's always raining,
and we never ever seemed alive,
I sung about you once now,
I guess I might as well but I won't...

more than anyone - gavin degraw
you need a friend
I'll be around
don't let this end
before I see you again
what can I say to convince you
to change your mind of me?

lost in you - sugarcult
six days went by
trying to forget her face
it was you and I
we were to young for these games
and all the pictures that I kept
and all the things I should have said
it was you and I
but mostly me

running away - hoobastank
I don't want you, to give it all up
and leave your own life, collecting dust
and I don't want you, to feel sorry for me
you never gave us, a chance to be

under the surface - marit larsen
say that you love me, say that it's true
I know that I want to believe you
but somehow silence speaks louder than words
I'm worried she's still on your mind

cat and mouse - the red jumpsuit apparatus
am i supposed to be happy?
when all i ever wanted comes with a price?
you said, you said that you would die for me
you must live for me too

stay close, don't go - secondhand serenade
if you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone,
don't tell me I will make it on my own,
don't leave me tonight,
this heart of stone will sing till it dies
if you leave me tonight.

solid ground - marit larsen
cannot know, lose your self-control
be and angel over all
know your secret way
laugh at everything they say
will you remain the same?

angels cry - the red jumpsuit apparatus
well it's hard to explain
but I'll try if you let me
well its hard to sustain
I'll cry if you let me
this doesn't change the way I feel about you
or your place in my life
(please don't cry)
can't you see I'm dying here?
a shot of broken heart that is chased with fear

ENJOY!
comment if taking.
will reupload when it expires.

[fanmix] l/j - i am yours (and you are mine.)

2007-02-17T14:48:21Z

third harry potter mix and counting...

lily/james.
i am yours. (and you are mine.)

01. before your love – kelly clarkson
i wanted more than just an ordinary life/all of my dreams seemed like castles in the sky/i stand before you and my heart was in your hands

02. desperately - michelle branch
there's something 'bout the way you looked at me made me think for a moment/that maybe we were meant to be

03. just another - pete yorn
you and I/were two of a kind/i hate to say it but youll never relate/what makes you tick?/it makes me smile

04. momentum - vienna teng
won't you help me rise up/touch my face and watch me try to breathe again/would you let me do this/burn down the final wall

05. one and only - parokya ni edgar *
it took one look/and forever laid out in front of me/one smile and i died/only to be revived by you

06. samson - regina spektor
samson came to my bed/told me that my hair was red/told me i was beautiful and came into my bed/oh i cut his hair myself one night/a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light/and he told me that i'd done alright/and kissed me 'til the mornin' light

* - a filipino band

download the zip (9.80MB).

note: please tell me if you would like it reuploaded and such. thanks! enjoy the mix!

pimping.

2007-01-04T14:24:58Z

[public]

new icon journal: paalam

add/join please. :) accepting affliates.

bad first day back to school yesterday. today was only slightly better.

[Bad username: paalam � [info]paalam]

... screaming.

2006-11-21T07:03:39Z

Damn it to hell.

two harry/cho icons (shock shock!)

2006-11-18T07:56:59Z

*points to mood/icon*

I don't ship this pairing but hrmph, it was a hot photo.

Comment if taking. And Credit. Don't kill me guys... I like Katie anyway. :D

come request a fic!

2006-10-11T08:51:29Z

Alright! I'm feeling creative and I'd like you guys (my beloved FLIST) to request a fic for me to make for you. Drabbles & One-shots... kind of thing. :D Fluff, angst or whatever!!! Haha, just whatever you want. So anyway yes. Fill this up and by next week until November 4, you'll be getting whatever you ask for. ♥

Like so...
Fandom or Real: REAL!
Pairing: Nikka/Alex ♥
What kind? (Angst, Fluff): Angst :)
Give me something to start a plot on...: Graveyard.

Haha. Come on then, fill it up and leave a comment! Hehe.
I promise you won't get disappointed with what I'm going to give you guys.

I hope you guys comment. I like having something to do this sembreak.

harry potter - hermione on harry - fire

2006-09-19T12:32:45Z

A Hermione on Harry FanMix

This is a sequel to my last fanmix. In this one, I wanted to kind of create an image of what Hermione felt after everything (in my own perspective, kind of like a fanfic I'm currently writing still). On how she felt when she couldn't go through the wedding with Ron, and how she saw Harry break when Ginny died five months after their wedding due to internal bleeding caused by the blows she recieved at the Last Battle with Tom Riddle...

Harry and Hermione are alone again... what is to happen?

I hope you enjoy this one. I know I did.

Hear Me - Kelly Clarkson
And it gets so lonely, being on my own...
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, Ron, I'm fine. You should go check on Harry."
"That's not my job. It's yours."
(silence)
"No, Ron. I can't... look at him like I used to."

Imaginary - Evanescence
Let me stay, where the wind will whisper to me
"Come back inside, Hermione."
"No, not yet. Let me stay here a little while longer."
"Shutting him out won't do you any good."
"No, but I'd rather hear the wind blow than to think of him..."

Where Are You Now - Michelle Branch
It's easier for me to be alone, but there's still a piece of me that feels so empty
"Hey."
"Hi."
"May I sit?"
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Harry..."
"I still love you."

Where is Your Heart - Kelly Clarkson
Baby it's just you and me...
"Last night, you told me you loved me."
"I know. But Hermione I - "
"But you miss her."
"I - Yes..."
"This isn't going to work isn't it?"

Same Ground Kitchie Nadal
It's hard, leaving you that way when I never wanted to..
"He's been doing fine. Working for the Ministry and all."
"That's wonderful. I'm glad both of you are chasing your dreams... especially you. I know how you loved those - Ch - that team."
"Chudley Cannons, Hermione."
"Yes that."
(silence)
"You miss him don't you?"
"Everyday."

Til I get Over You Michelle Branch
We both know, that I'm not over you.
"Who would haev thought Luna and Ron would marry."
"I did. She was devastated when she heard of my engagement with him."
"Hmm yes, I remember that day."
"That was the day we gave up."
"Hermione."
"Well, it's true."
(silence)
"But I still loved you."
"Apparently not enough."

Fire - Kitchie Nadal
You will seek him with all your heart and soul

Hermione,

I know you think I was just using you that night at the Burrow. But I would honestly never hurt you in that way. You should know that by now. In a way, I suppose I was missing Ginny, but I was missing you more. I missed how you felt in my arms all those nights we've shared before this.

You told me once that I was worth it. And you're worth it too. I love you Hermione... and I always will.

I'll be gone for quite awhile... and I don't know if I'll be coming back. But when I do, marry me. I loved you for seven years... and I intend to love you seven hundred years more.

With all my heart,
Harry

"I will be waiting."

download zip + art

Phew. I love fanmixes and fanon, don't you? If you don't well, you do like music don't you? :D Comments makes me feel fuzzy. Suggestions are great too.

new fanvideo - "You're Worthy"

2006-09-14T13:02:39Z

HHR Fanvideo by me

Title: You're Worthy
Artist: Kitchie Nadal
Summary: She's heard him say that he wasn't worth fighting for, but she doesn't agree. He is more than just a friend now - so much more - and even if it takes her years for him to see that he is worth it... she'll wait and fight. Because Hermione Granger is not stupid: she knows her priorities - and one of them is him.
Reason why I chose this song: This song appeals to me and is in the fan soundtrack that I posted sometime back. The lyrics are well written and the melody goes well with the concept of Harry and Hermione going to war... all in all it's a lovely song and you should all listen.

Harry Potter - Harry/Hermione - Never Far Behind

2006-08-21T09:52:36Z

After much hours of uploading these songs (I hate my dial-up), I've finally done it! Here it is, my first ever fanmix. I hope you all enjoy this mix.

a harry/hermione soundtrack.

I had this story in my mind for the past few weeks. In my mind, I envisioned a stunning end to the sorrow and hurting that the war had brought upon the young wizard. And with that end came a new hope for love - for a family they wish they had - only to end up with the people they didn't want anymore...

This is an angsty view of how I think Harry and Hermione's romance started and ended (tragically)...

Always on Your Side - Sheryl Crow
"It's my burden. Not yours."
"I know that, but do I look like I care?"
"Hermione."
"No, Harry. Be quiet. I'm coming wih you. Whether you like it or not."

Never Far Behind - Aly & AJ
"Stop fidgeting! It'll only hurt more!"
"I wouldn't have gotten this if I wasn't so worried about where you were!"
"I wasn't far behind, Harry!"
(sigh)
"You don't have to worry; as long as you're alive, I am too."
"Hermione..."

You're Worthy - Kitchie Nadal
"We shouldn't be doing this."
(kiss)
"Hmm, that's supposed to be my line."
"I'm not worth it, Ms. Granger."
"That's not what I think, Mr. Potter."
(kiss)

Nobody Wins - The Veronicas
(crash)
"Harry... you can't be serious."
"I am, Hermione. It's the only way."
"You say that every time, but it doesn't save anyone!"
(sigh)
"Hermione... just marry Ron."

How Can I Not Love You - Joy Enriquez
"You look...-great."
Dear God, I made a mistake.
"You don't look so bad yourself."
It's not too late. We can still be together, right?
"This is it."
Say you won't marry him.
"Yes, it is."
Say you won't marry her.
...
"All is right in world, Harry."
This is wrong. I love you.
"Yeah... it is..."
I love you too, Hermione.

... and the bells start to ring...

download zip
re-uploaded 09-19-06

hhr video # 7 - speechless

2006-07-16T09:29:45Z

I made a new H/Hr video, and I thought I should share it. Haha. If you have any comments or suggestions or whatever... just leave a comment adn I'll get back to you.

View it here

Song Title/Artist: Speechless - The Veronicas
Summary/Overview: Two worlds collide just so that fate can teach them a valuable lesson. One look... one touch... one kiss was all it took for words to leave them. Because love... needs no words nor clues. Only heat and contentment. (Yes, sorry for the crappy summary)
Disclaimers/Notes: Umm, yeah. I don't own HP. Wish I had thought of it but no, I didn't. Wish I wrote the song too, but I didn't. Haha. Hope you enjoy it!

delicatinelity @ 2006-07-16T14:15:00

2006-07-16T06:59:29Z

Can anyone please upload the song 'Always on Your Side' by Sheryl Cros and Sting (?) please? I'd love you to death!

time of your life - music project

2006-07-01T08:05:43Z

TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL:

Under the inspiration of Donna's (thund3r) 678 - A Music Project (found here)... I've decided to make my own song recc post. :D The idea for this is from Donna (who is one of the people here I hold dear... it's crazy!) so, yeah, props to her!

TIME OF YOUR LIFE ; A Music Project

This is how it's going to be... I'm going to ask each and everyone of you to recommend me songs of all genre. I don't care if it's classical, pop, punk, r&b, blues, jazz, techno or whatever. I just want recommendations... I want to see what you guys think is great music because it gives a lot of insight on who you guys are. Also, it's great fun to listen to different things! Hehe. I guess what I'm saying is - I want new material around here.

So just comment to this post with your recommendations in this format:
Song Title - Artist ; reason why you recommended this

There you go! I hope I get lots and lost of recommendations! *hug*

hhr one shot

2005-11-22T10:27:17Z

Title: Beautiful Disaster

Rating: PG (Because I said so.)

Pairing: H/Hr, Hermione’s POV

Author: Nikka

Number of words: 3, 437

Summary: “Could you stay with me a little longer?” he asked. I looked at him confused. “Why?”

Disclaimer: All characters are of J.K. Rowling’s property. The song lyrics are in Kelly Clarkson’s album ‘Breakaway’. The plot and the sweat were all my doing… so no stealing!

+ + +

“I don’t know what happened! The bludger just went flying past me without my noticing it! I could’ve been killed!” Ron exclaimed, waving his hands about.

Meanwhile, Harry was laughing. “It was because you were staring at someone in the stands! You should focus or else you will die during a game,” he said, patting Ron on the shoulder.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Boys and Quidditch… why they love such a blood sport was beyond me.

“Hermione,” a voice said. I turned to look at the person calling to me and the boys stopped talking.

It was Ginny.

“Ginny, how are you?” I greeted, smiling at her. Ginny smiled a small smile and glanced at the boys before—just as quickly as she looked at them—gave her attention back to me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry pale slightly.

Then I remembered… Harry had just broken up with Ginny. My heart panged as an oddly familiar emotion dropped at the pit of my stomach. Jealousy, I quickly realized… I’m jealous.

“I’ve been fine,” she told me, taking a seat next to mine. An eerie silence filled the air, even though the Great Hall was packed with students having their lunch. I glanced back and forth between Harry and Ginny and found them taking quite an interest in the food on their plates. Neither of them wanted to talk.

Ron, as if sensing the growing awkwardness, cleared his throat loudly.

“Hey, Harry, could you teach me that new tactic we have? I didn’t quite understand Ginny’s explanation,” he said, snapping Ginny, Harry and me out of our reveries.

“You mean, you don’t understand any of the tactics,” Ginny said sarcastically, grinning slightly. I smiled at her. Well, at least she was trying to make the best out of the situation.

Ron rolled his eyes and looked at harry expectantly. Harry looked back right at him as well.

“Fine, I’ll explain it to you. Why don’t we go out on the field?” he suggested, already standing up with his bag on his shoulder. Ron looked at Ginny and she sighed.

“So much for trying,” I whispered to her and she nodded.

“We’ll see both of you later at the common room, I suppose,” Ron said, shrugging. We nodded and just smiled slightly.

Harry didn’t smile back but instead turned his back at us. I sighed. They were about to walk towards the door when Harry called to me

“Umm, ‘Mione…” he started, running a hand through his hair.

I raised a curious eyebrow. “Yes?” I asked curiously.

Harry glanced at Ginny, who was staring at him right back and he swallowed. “Uh, nothing… I’ll tell you later.” And then they left; leaving me to wonder what Harry was about to say.

“Do you want to go up to our dorm?” she asked me. I knew she wanted to talk about Harry.

“Sure, Gin.” I replied and we went up to the Gryffindor Tower.

Once we got there, Ginny and I lay down our respective beds and was silent.

Ginny sighed beside me and I felt pity towards her. I understood what she was feeling… I knew how much she cared about Harry (probably as much as I cared about him) and I knew how much it hurt her when he told her that he couldn’t risk getting her into his mess. It was rubbish of course, because we were all in danger anyway… but Harry never understood that.

“He still won’t talk to me…” she said, her voice soft. I sighed, as I sat up to reach over and hug her slightly. “He will sooner or later, Gin,” I reassured her.

Ginny shook her head and rubbed her eyes. It was a gesture that told me she was about to cry soon. I had to cheer her up.

“Oh, come now, Gin. It’s just a guy. It’s just Harry.”

She glared at me and shook her head again. “He’s not just Harry, ‘Mione. He’s not just some guy. You know that!” she argued, her temper rising.

“I’m just saying you shouldn’t let this kind of thing affect you… if he’s yours… he’ll come back soon,” I explained, my voice soothing. But Ginny just kept on glaring at me.

“You don’t understand, ‘Mione. You don’t know what it’s like to really care about someone so much and have them not see that,” she told me, her voice breaking.

Yes, I do, I wanted to say. I know how it feels to have all that love and have the one not see it in return!

“You don’t know how much it hurts to have him avoid you because he doesn’t want to see you die,” she finished, her tears finally taking over her.

I hugged her, not minding the stares we were getting from our other roommates. Ginny needed someone to hold… and I was all she had at the moment.

“Sometimes I wish I was like you, Hermione,” Ginny said suddenly. “Why?” I asked, confused.

“Because you’re perfect! Because you’re not in love with Harry! Because you get to be around him without any complications! You get to stay with him without a wall distancing you both…” she explained, looking up at me. Her face was red with all the crying.

“I wish I was you…”

I shook my head and continued to hug her more. “Don’t wish you were like me. You’re perfect the way you are. Harry fell in love with you because you were Ginny. Not because you were me…” I told her with a faint smile.

She smiled just as faintly as I had and sighed once more.

“I still want to be like you,” she pressed on but I didn’t answer.

If only you knew, Gin… I’ve always wanted to be like you.

+ + +

It’s been six years since I met both Harry and Ron aboard the Hogwarts Express. I can still remember how the troll gave way for the three of us to become friends. If it weren’t for that troll, the three of us wouldn’t have become so close.

I walked down the grassy hill and looked around me, breathing in the lovely scent of the air. It was beautiful here in Hogwarts, and I was honored to be a part of it. I owe every significant event in my life to its homey atmosphere.

I stopped at the tombstone the school had made for Professor Dumbledore, the day after he died. I can still feel the pain of losing our beloved headmaster and I would often come down to the tombstone to pay my respects.

“You still come here as well,” a voice remarked. I knew who it was. I nodded and turned to Harry who was standing behind me with his hands in his pockets.

“I see you do too,” I replied, giving him a smile. He smiled back and rubbed his forehead, sighing as he did so. He looked tired and messy. He was a disaster. I found myself staring at him with a single thought in my head…

He was beautiful.

He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme, I know

He's as damned as he seems

And more heaven than a heart could hold

I’ve always found Harry attractive. His deep emerald green eyes were the first things I admired most the first time I saw him. Though they may be hidden behind glasses, his eyes were always deeper whenever you looked at them.

His hair may be unruly and distorting but it covered the scar he so desperately wanted to hide. He also had a gentle smile… I can still remember the first time he had taken my breath away with one grin.

And if I tried to save him

My whole world could cave in

It just isn’t right, it just ain't right…

It was his smile that drove me to do whatever I could to help him… so that I could make him happy. With the painful past he carried, I wanted to do everything in my power to keep him from hiding away from everyone around him. He was heaven in my eyes… he was everything I’ve always dreamt of.

But try as I may… I couldn’t save him. Something much worse would always come after one happy moment… and he had learned to distance himself from people he cared for to protect them…

“Hermione?” The touch of his hand on my shoulder and his voice startled me out of my trance. I felt my face burn slightly. Oh, God, how embarrassing.

“Yes?” I said, trying to look calm.

“Would you like to take a walk with me?” he asked, smiling slightly.

“Where?” I asked. He shrugged.

“Wherever our feet takes us,” he replied, just as he held out his hand. I looked at it and back to his face. He had a somewhat sad expression and my heart went out for him.

I took his hand and squeezed it slightly. “Let’s go then.”

He smiled and squeezed back. “Thanks, ‘Mione.”

+ + +

We walked past Hagrid’s hut, the pumpkin patch and the Quidditch fields without really noticing the time and where we were. All we did was talk about anything and everything… our topics usually not sticking for long.

We stopped walking at the edge of the lake, under the huge oak tree to rest.

“I didn’t notice it was already night fall,” Harry commented, sitting down under the tree. He picked up a stone and through it into the lake.

I sighed and sat down beside him, breathing the cool night air into my body. “I didn’t notice as well,” I agreed, a smile tugging my lips.

Harry laughed and threw another stone.

“You seem happier,” I remarked, watching the ripples his rock formed in the water. Harry threw another rock and sighed. “I guess…”

Oh and I don't know

I don't know what he's after…

“Liar,” I told him and he chuckled.

“You know me too well…”

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster.

“I really don’t like it when you lie,” I said, frowning slightly at him. He looked back at me and ran a hand through his hair.

“Sometimes you have to lie to protect the ones you care about,” he replied, swallowing.

I shook my head. “You always say that… and you’re always wrong! You don’t even know how much it hurts people when you lie… especially Ginny…” I argued, frowning.

And me… I added silently.

“I don’t mean to hurt anyone… I just want to protect them. You know I can’t stand the thought of people dying because me!” he argued as well, frowning just the same.

“You’re always trying to be the hero. Not every bad thing that happens is about you!” I sighed in frustration. “I don’t even know why I put with you…”

“Then don’t,” he muttered. I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked at him. He had a sadder expression in his face, and I felt my heart grow heavy.

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter…

“You know I can’t leave you even if I tried…” I whispered, staring into his eyes.

Harry smiled and took my hand. My heart began to race and I felt my face burn.

He squeezed it and whispered, “I’m glad.”

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster?

“I wish you didn’t have to blame yourself for everything that’s happened this past year…” I explained, leaning against the tree. The air was getting cooler by the minute… it was refreshing.

Harry sighed and shook his head. “I can’t help it.”

I frowned and rolled my eyes at him. “Yes, you can. You just choose not to do anything about it,” I pointed out, mock-glaring at him.

He smiled but didn’t answer. Instead he threw another rock into the water, and watched it make ripples. He looked so peaceful… perfectly content in his position.

He's magic and myth

As strong as what I believe

A tragedy with

More damage than a soul should see

I studied his face; every angle and every crease of his face perfectly structured. I smiled faintly and looked at the water rushing by in front of us, enjoying the peaceful surroundings that enveloped the air around us. I was glad that Harry and I got to share this moment of security without thinking about death or Voldemort.

And do I try to change him?

So hard not to blame him

Hold on tight, hold on tight

I knew that deep inside Harry’s flawless façade lay a heartbroken boy, wanting desperately to move on with a normal life without any complications from people who wanted so badly to kill him. He was tired of running… he was tired of everything.

But no matter how tired he looked at this very moment, I found myself thinking as my gaze came back to him. He is still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

I would never try to change anything about you, I told him silently. I love you just the way you are…

“You’re always staring at me,” Harry said, looking at me with a confused look. I smiled and laughed softly. “I like watching you,” I told him, grinning.

He laughed and shook his head. “Whatever you say, ‘Mione,” he said, rolling his eyes. I stuck out my tongue at him and we both laughed.

“Oh, look, a falling star!” I said, suddenly noticing the night sky. We watched as it fell slowly from the sky.

“Make a wish…” he said, his eyes closed.

I closed my eyes as well. I wish Harry all the happiness… whether it is with Ginny or anyone else, I whispered to myself. I opened my eyes and watched the star continue falling downwards. Please make Harry happy…

I glanced at Harry and saw him with his eyes still closed. He must really be taking the wish seriously.

Then he opened his eyes and looked at me with his emerald green eyes and my heart started drumming in my chest. I took a deep breath.

“What did you wish for?” I asked, hoping he would tell me something. Harry shook his head and smiled. “The wish won’t work if I tell you,” he told me, smirking at me.

“You’re so unfair,” I argued in mock anger. He laughed and wrapped an arm around me. My body temperature rose… oh dear. I gulped.

“I’ll tell you when the time is right, okay?” He looked down at me and I nodded. My mind was hazy from all the warmth he was giving me.

+ + +

We stayed like that for as long as I can remember. Just staring at each other before I regained my composure and realized what position we were in. I cleared my throat.

“Don’t you ever think of Ginny?” I asked, trying to start a conversation.

“Oh, let’s not talk about her now…” he replied, removing his arm from my shoulder before slumping back into his sit against the tree.

“Why can’t we talk about her?” I demanded, raising a confused eyebrow.

Harry sighed. “I just don’t want to.”

“But—”

“Don’t you ever think of Ron’s feelings for you?” he asked suddenly, stopping me from objecting. I bit my lip and thought about what he was asking.

Of course, I had thought of Ron’s emotions towards me. But I was always too focused on Harry to really feel anything in return. I knew he loved me—his actions told me so—but… I…

“I have thought about it… but, well… I have feeling for someone else,” I answered, taking a deep breath after. Harry raised an amused eyebrow.

“Oh, too bad for Ron, I suppose,” he said, shrugging his shoulder. Then he looked at me, thoughtfully. “Do I know the guy you fancy?” he asked, inching closer to me.

I felt my face burn. “Umm… I suppose so,” I told him, avoiding his gaze.

He smiled and looked at me expectantly. “Well, aren’t you going to tell me?” he asked, smirking.

Oh 'cause I don't know...

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

“He’s…” You.

“He’s… who?” he asked, inching closer still. My breath became shallow.

“I fancy…” You…

He was too close.

“I’m in love with…” You!

I sighed and shook my head. “I can’t tell you,” I said, looking at him apologetically. He frowned and sighed as well. “Too bad, I wanted to tell him he was a lucky guy. Does he know you like him?”

I shook my head. “What? Why?” he cried incredulously.

I'm longing for love and the logical

But he's only happy hysterical

“Because…” He’s impossible to reach…

“He can’t see me,” I replied instead, avoiding his gaze.

I'm waitin' for some kind of miracle

Waiting so long,

So long…

“He has everything I admire in a person… but he can’t see that himself. He can only see the bad things in him, instead of the good things. He thinks he has nobody who loves him… I’ve been waiting for a miracle for him to see that he’s not alone…” I added, vaguely aware that his eyes had widened at what I had just said.

He's soft to the touch

But frayed at the end he breaks

He's never enough

And still he's more than I can take…

“He’s so vunerable inside even though he tries to hide it. He would look so strong in the outside but in the inside… I know he’s breaking. I know that he needs someone to hold him… but he never lets anyone. Not even me.”

“I want to say that I love him… but he keeps me from doing so…” I whispered, looking up at the night sky. “He’s a disaster… but I love him for it,” I finished, before glancing at Harry to see his expression.

He was smiling.

“Do you love him?” he asked his emerald green eyes thoughtful. He had a knowing glint in his eyes.

“Yes.” I said slowly as I tried to remember what that glint meant.

Harry’s jaw fell open… and then he smiled.

A sudden realization came over me.

He knew. He saw right though my heart. He knew I loved him.

This is what’s hard of having the guy you love as your best friend! He knows everything about you! You should have never said any of those things, Hermione! Never! I scolded myself and I knew my face was red.

“I’m sure he feels the same way,” he said, snapping me back to reality.

My eyes widened and my cheeks flushed red. Oh, dear Lord.

“We—uh—should head back,” I told Harry as I stood up and started dusting my robes hurriedly. I was about to turn towards the school when a hand pulled me to stop. It was Harry’s.

“Could you stay with me a little longer?” he asked. I looked at him confused. “Why?”

He stared at me and smiled.

“You know why…”

Oh 'cause I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

His eyes were mesmerizing. Without realizing it… I was in his arms and we were both staring at each other. I swallowed.

“Why should I stay?” I asked.

“Because I need you to…” he replied, his smile taking my breath away.

Harry leaned closer to me. “And what about Ginny? She won’t be happy about this…” I asked, his face inches from mine.

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster?

“She’s my past…”

He looked down at me and cupped my face. “I can see now that you’re my future.”

Our lips met, and I closed my eyes, reveling in the warm sensations surrounding that kiss. So this is what a kiss feels like, I realized as I buried my fingers into his hair. It feels… warm.

“I love you…” I whispered once we pulled apart, finally saying those three words out loud. A huge weight inside my heart was lifted.

Harry smiled and kissed my forehead. “I love you too…” he replied, and I felt my heart jump with joy. I hugged him.

“You’re a disaster,” I told him, laying my head on his shoulder as I hugged him closer.

He laughed. “I know…”

He's beautiful…

Such a beautiful disaster…

hhr one-shot

2005-11-15T12:12:29Z

Title: It was too late
Author: Nikka (delicatinelity )
Pairing: Harry/Hermione, more of Hermione's PoV
WARNING: This is a sad fic (at least for me)!!!
Summary: I wanted to tell you everything but.... I couldn't. She said it was supposed to be this way.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the characters but the plot's mine.

I couldn't say it. And I was supposed to possess the so-called Gryffindor bravery.

What a lie.

I wanted to tell you everything but... I couldn't. She said it was supposed to be this way. He belonged to her and I belonged with... the other one.

Don't get me wrong! I care about Ron. Really I do. He's a great partner and a loving friend; and I suppose we were made for each other right at the beginning but... I guess a part of me--a huge part of me actually--wanted to be with him.

Hmm, what am I saying? If he knew about this he'd probably think I was silly little school girl with a crush. And what hurts about that fact is that I am a silly school girl... with eyes for the boy who would never be mine.

Oh dear. Mrs. Weasley's calling me. She says I have to try on my dress for the wedding.

My wedding.

It still feels so weird to say that. I get chills whenever I mention it or even write it. Is that normal? And I'm the bloody bride.

Oh hell. She's calling me again. She's anxious I can tell. Mrs. Weasley's wanted us (me and her son) to marry ever since she laid eyes on me! I think she practically prepared for our wedding years before Ronald even proposed.

Anyway, I should just come right to it. I have to get this thing out of my chest so that I can finally move on with my life and actually be happy. I need to let this go before I walk down the aisle... to my groom. Our bestfriend.

I love you, Harry. More than I'll ever admit. I've felt this ever since that day on the train where we first met. I've been with you through all the hardships we've faced together. I did all I could to help you defeat the Basilisk so that you could save Ginny. I tried my best to hep you in saving both Buckbeak and Sirius. I stood by you when you and Ron fought. I was ready to sacrifice my life (even though you told me to stay put) for you because I wanted to see you alive and smile again. I gave you up because you were happy in the arms of another girl...

I suppose all I'm trying to say is...

I, Hermione Jane Granger, am in love with you, Harry James Potter. And even after... this... I always will. All I wanted for you is to make you happy. Even if it would never be with me.

It's a little too late. I'm sorry... but I wanted to let you know before... well, before everything. I hope you are well.

Love from your best friend,
Hermione

+ + +

Harry sucked in his breath and crumpled the piece of parchment in his hand. He found this piece of paper in her hand as she lay still on the ground. The information in it took him by surprise.

He stared down at the lifeless body in his arms and felt the tears in his eyes. She loved him... and she was dead.

Hermione Granger was dead and he never told her that he felt the same. She had died trying to save him. She gave her last breath for his safety.

Harry let himself sob freely now as he hugged her body to him.

"I should have been with you when I had the chance..." he whispered into her ear. He clenched his fists.

"I should have told you..."

But it was too late.

i made an rhr wallpaper!

2005-10-30T10:09:38Z

I love it. SO MUCH!

you keep me without chains

BACK ONLINE BABY!

h/hr MV: someday

fanmix - h/hr - we cannot be

for haltlos and jeanniefillion *public*

Harry Potter - Ron/Luna - You're Something to Dream About

STOP THE INTERVIEW!

i'm alive. i swear.

delicatinelity @ 2007-08-12T18:16:00

[fanmix] l/j - i am yours (and you are mine.)

pimping.

... screaming.

two harry/cho icons (shock shock!)

come request a fic!

harry potter - hermione on harry - fire

new fanvideo - "You're Worthy"

Harry Potter - Harry/Hermione - Never Far Behind

hhr video # 7 - speechless

delicatinelity @ 2006-07-16T14:15:00

time of your life - music project

hhr one shot

hhr one-shot

i made an rhr wallpaper!

for haltlos and jeanniefillion public